Author Topic: attention lardbutts  (Read 738 times)

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attention lardbutts
« on: June 22, 2011, 11:15:09 PM »
Yes, you.  If you're not morbidly obese, you can click on something else.
You're out of breath, and your knees have given you trouble for years.  It's hereditary.  :bull  If we were meant to carry around 300-500#, we'd be born with a backpack and 20 bowling balls.

Your TV time is split between the food channel and scooter infomercials.  Ask them if anyone ever gets a scooter, because it's not likely.  They're pushing Urban Assault wheelchairs.

Maybe you're thinking about getting a scooter, so you don't spend half the day at the amusement park catching up with everyone else.

Maybe you looked at a Rascal.  Don't.  Those are expensive toys for cripples.  If you've given up and are happy being a lardass, get a scooter that's designed for it.

After wearing out three rascals, Dave finally bought a Maxim.  For about half the cost, and no grief when anything needs fixed.  Rascal won't let you fix a $5 part, they want 3-4 digits for a whole new assembly.

The Maxim is like a hummer compared to a toyauto.  Everything is heavy duty, like batteries that last all day, and it scoots.

Word to the wise...we now return you to your irregularly scheduled commercial interruption.

Check out the Bigg Elf's Toy Stash --

And our Garrett metal detectors --


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