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Messages - biggfredd

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101
* General Discussions / Learning to speak Fredd: Paraprosdokian
« on: April 17, 2012, 11:14:40 AM »
I had to look up "paraprosdokian". Here is the definition:

"Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation."    Ex … "Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian.

    1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

    2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

    3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

    4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

    5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

    6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

    7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

    8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

    9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

    10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

    11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

    12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

    13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

    14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

    15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

    16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

    17. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

    18. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

    19. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

    20. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

    21. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
 
    22. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
 
    23. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

    24. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
 
    25. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
 
    26. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

    27. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.

    28. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.

    29. I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

    30. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
103
* General Discussions / 17 month old does pull-ups to watch cartoons
« on: April 17, 2012, 05:13:37 AM »
104
* Great Deals / Canon color printer $23 delivered
« on: April 17, 2012, 04:19:23 AM »
106
* General Discussions / lookie me!
« on: April 15, 2012, 03:15:43 PM »
I a toady phrog!
107
* Amazon Central / Customers Suck
« on: April 15, 2012, 10:38:42 AM »
I got this email with the title above from a friend:

Quote
I recently sold a tripod on Amazon and shipped it off. The customer
complained that it was rusty and returned it. I could not find a single
bit of rust on the all aluminum tripod.
108
* Computer Lab / 13" flat panel for laptoy, $180
« on: April 15, 2012, 09:49:54 AM »
http://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=9SIA0V108S5365

Wanna double your display on your laptoy, or have a presentation screen?  This looks pretty neat, and only weighs 23 ounces.
109
* General Discussions / Come on in
« on: April 14, 2012, 07:49:27 PM »
Or out

Or, nevermind!
110
* General Discussions / Just a reminder
« on: April 14, 2012, 10:27:50 AM »
111
* General Discussions / PING TBFSwapmeets
« on: April 14, 2012, 09:12:11 AM »
Thought you'd like a look at this:

113
* General Discussions / Happy
« on: April 13, 2012, 08:29:41 PM »
National Grilled Cheese Day!

April 12 (yesterday)

Denny's has one.  A grilled cheese sammich with four cheese stix in the middle.
114
Quote
The American Dental Association followed suit spending millions to deny that mercury in fillings was safe.
So they didn't like it?
115
* Marketing & Customer Service Issues / Customer service, then and now
« on: April 13, 2012, 08:17:15 AM »
From an old repair enveope for jewelry and watches:
Quote
All repairs Guaranteed.  If this job is not satisfactory return this envelope with Articles so that we can place the responsibility where it belongs.  Not responsible for Articles left longer than 60 days.

IOW:  We'll find someone to blame.  Nothing about fixing the Article, just about fixing the blame.

Today:

Press two for English as taught as a second language.
116
You mist the unicycle?
119
* Numismatics and Philately / Learn something new every day
« on: April 11, 2012, 09:34:21 PM »
What is the relationship between Heinrich LXVII and Heinrich XIV, respectively the 67th and 14th princes of Reuss-Schleiz?  Google if you like.

Answer:

Old 67 was 14th's dad!

All the princes are called Heinrich and to distinguish them they had numbers attached to their names. Number 1 is given to the first prince of the branch born in the century and the numbers follow in order of birth until the century was finished, when the cycle began again. Thus Heinrich's father who was born in 1789 and died in 1867 was Heinrich LXVII and his son was born in 1832 was Heinrich XIV, being respectively the 67th and 14th prince of Reuss-Schleiz born in the 18th and 19th centuries.
120
* Numismatics and Philately / World coin database
« on: April 10, 2012, 02:02:19 AM »
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